Best Feeling of the Week

My best feeling of last week came as the result of doing something that intimidated me. If you follow @yourbestfeelingforever on Instagram, you know what I’m about to get into.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m currently in the midst of my IIN Coaching Intensive Practicum. A requirement to pass the course and become qualified to sit for the NBHWC exam is to do a live coaching demo in front of all your peers (my class has 30 people in it). My turn to coach live was last Thursday.

My nerves started to say, “hey, notice me,” the night before, but I got a good night of sleep and felt well rested the day of my demo.

I spent the morning leading up to the demo journaling and practicing switching my imposter-like thoughts to positive self-talk. Since I graduated IIN, I’ve clocked more than 100 hours of coaching with various clients. I’ve always studied and taken great notes. I walked myself through the facts of the matter. I looked through my coaching logs. I thought of the wonderful women who have let me into their lives. I flipped “I don’t know what I’m doing; do I know anything?” to “I have everything I need within me.”

As it always seems to do before something new-to-me, though, the nervousness returned, crept into my body, and stayed there from a half-hour before class at 10:30am right until my time for the demo, 11:15am.

Mentally, I was set. But nerves are a different ballgame. As I listened to the demos before me, my palms grew sweaty and my heart started pounding. I actually checked my heart rate on my watch and it was 103 versus my usual 60-70 bpm resting heart rate.

Then, it was my turn. I started the demo with some breathwork— both for the client and for myself. I asked the client a few questions and did my absolute best to listen to everything she shared with me. The nerves melted away about five minutes in. I was wrapped up in what the client was struggling with and doing my best to lead her to a solution. Before I knew it, my 15 minutes was up and the demo was over.

I was relieved to hear great feedback from our instructor and from fellow students. And I was massively relieved, and dare I say proud, that I did the damn thing. I did the thing that was scaring me. Why did it scare me so much? I coach all the time. Perhaps it was because it was in front of my peers. Maybe it was because I couldn’t prepare beforehand and had no information on who the client was (you’re assigned your client live).

Or maybe it’s because as an adult, I can choose not to do things that intimidate me. I can hide if I want. Life isn’t like high school or college, where you’re forced to make presentations and give speeches and perform solos for a passing grade. If something is uncomfortable or in the least bit intimidating, I can say, “no thanks, I’d rather not,” and shut down and opt-out.

But the sense of sheer pride and relief and joy I felt after doing the scary thing? THAT is the feeling. It’s the best. It makes you feel like you can do anything. That is worth the build-up and the nerves. Actually, maybe nervousness is really just excitement dressed up in a different outfit. Nervousness shows us how alive and in the moment we actually are.

As I head into this new week, I want to harness that powerful energy of knowing I can do scary things, and maybe they’re not so scary after all.

I hope you all have a beautiful week ahead. I’m sending you love and courage.

xx
Kailey